OH $#!% — I JUST SAID NO. NOW WHAT?
WAIT → NOTICE → RESOURCE → DIP → NAME → PAUSE
Before you explain, apologize, or take it back…
1. DON'T RESPOND YET.
Unless something truly requires an immediate answer, give yourself a little time.
2. FIND YOUR BODY.
Feet. Breath. Chair. Ground.
Where are you feeling the reaction?
3. SIREN, ALERT, OR SILENCE?
You don't have to make the feeling disappear. Just notice what your system is doing.
4. FIND THE LIP OF THE POOL.
Return to something that helps your body know you're here, now, and okay enough.
5. TOE DIP.
Touch the discomfort briefly. Come back to your resource. Repeat if useful.
6. NAME THE STORY.
“Because they're disappointed, I'm telling myself __________.”
7. THEN ASK:
HOLD — Is this still what I want/need?
RECONSIDER — Did new information genuinely change my mind?
REPAIR — Is my boundary still right, but there's something about how I handled it that I want to repair?
8. THEN RESPOND.
Not from the first surge. From choice.
When you're ready to decide:
HOLD • RECONSIDER • REPAIR
