As a therapist, I deal with individual torment, but as a country, as a society, we must also think of trauma as something socially induced and with cultural impact. Regardless of where one stands with gun control (and I doubt that Las Vegas’ tragedy changed not one NRA mind), this country is subtly changed by each new slaughter, becoming more inured, more tolerant… much as my individual clients survived by dissociating, by learning to live without safety, becoming hypervigilent and chronically anxious. By learning not to care. Continue Reading Where is the Humanity?
The Sauna: Managing Conflict Well
In a healthy family, each member seeks to empower both the self and other, wanting to tell, and to hear, the authentic concerns that threaten the bond of care and concern. Even when the voices get a little loud, there is the sense of people fighting for each other as well as for themselves. Continue Reading The Sauna: Managing Conflict Well
The Sauna, or, How To Befriend Heated Conflict
Conflict is hard, and the hardest part, in my observation, is when it becomes heated. Even cool, the threat is there: the loss of a tenuous relationship, or of the harmony at least superficially apparent. Most cultures work very hard at finding and maintaining equanimity. Yet, darn it, those heated conflicts keep popping up! Continue Reading The Sauna, or, How To Befriend Heated Conflict
Good Will
But that has nothing to do with the season marking a return to the light. Whether its Solstice and its Nordic expression, Yule, Hanukkah’s menorah marking the miracle of a light refusing to die, Kwanzaa’s candles commemorating principles for living…or Christianity’s celebration of the birth of a savior, the recognition of a craving for light, and regardless of non/belief in God, some sweet and powerful Light is international and intercultural. In my loneliest hours, I crave luminosity. Its vibrancy, its energy, its warmth. I seek inspiration. I seek a spark. Not only to energize myself, but to share that with others. I would like to think of myself as a person of good will. Continue Reading Good Will
For Those With Chronic Illness: Helping Friends & Family Not To Put Their Foot In It
On the bright side, this really is a journey I’m on. I don’t know where it’s going, or how long (if ever) I’ll get to the other side, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone…but I am trying to learn things, like how to lean on others, how to notice also that which is beautiful and comforting, how to be in the moment, how to heal from whatever brought this about in the first place. This letter is meant to help you join me in this journey, in whatever way you see fit, with greater confidence…and maybe, a journey of your own.
Continue Reading For Those With Chronic Illness: Helping Friends & Family Not To Put Their Foot In It
Stress 101: Discovering Your Inner Protector
When I started writing this series, I explored “safety.” What it means, particularly to those of us who were not nourished by it often enough as our young spirits grew. Many of the essentials I’ve since explored with you, grounding, resourcing, meditation, all help reduce the constant undercurrent of distress in our lives. However, none… Continue Reading Stress 101: Discovering Your Inner Protector
Stress 101: Stepping Gently Into Your Body With Yoga
Trauma takes us away from our bodies, and turns us into their harshest judges. The path towards healing and away from this dissociation must therefore reunite us with our physical selves…Yoga, from the Sanskrit meaning “to join, unite, or attach,” invites us to enter our bodies gradually, allowing energy that has become stuck to begin flowing once more. It is even good preparation for entering a deeper meditative state, and the two together are profoundly therapeutic in becoming more mindful, and more present. Continue Reading Stress 101: Stepping Gently Into Your Body With Yoga
Stress 101: Meditation
Meditation is a discipline. Sometimes, it gets to me. In this video, in which I am upstaged by my dogs, I give a little taste both of the effort I put towards sitting, and how easy it is for me to get distracted from focusing on the present. What is important for all of us to wrap our minds around is that, if you’re expecting your brain to cooperate and stop thinking, you will not succeed. You will get frustrated, and you will give up on an intervention that is free and requires no travel, taking 15-20 minutes out of your day. Continue Reading Stress 101: Meditation
Introduction to Body Work and Other Interventions
At times, people struggle with what bodywork looks like. While I speak of other interventions as well, here I’m shown working with a friend and colleague in providing the safe, supportive touch that helps my clients tap into their yet-elusive sensations, and the emotions with which those sensations are linked.
Boundaries: Our Personal Force Field
Trauma deeply impacts our sense of personal territory. Do we have a right to territory? What does it take to keep myself safe within that territory? If I feel an alert, should I mention it, because I might hurt someone else’s feelings? Because for me, and in my experience, our boundaries physically mark the beginning of what constitutes “us,” they are not merely a concept, and in becoming more embodied, less dissociative, we are more able to feel physically when someone is crossing those boundaries and entering what we sense as our personal space. Continue Reading Boundaries: Our Personal Force Field