Hyper-vigilance is narrow, focused, worried, constricted like a flashlight beam nervously and constantly flickering around the darkness, alert for danger, for what is wrong, incessantly scanning for what needs to be done, to be fixed. Exhausting. Attentiveness is open, expansive, relaxed, receptive and allowing. Shining like the sun wherever it looks and wherever it looks seeing the beauty, the miracle that is always available in the present moment. Renewing, rejuvenating. Now for those of us that developed hyper-vigilance as a tool for dealing with trauma, that may sound discouraging, yet another way to beat ourselves up for not being the ‘right person’. I invite you to lay down the beatings for ever if you can, for right now at any rate. The next time you suspect you may be hyper-vigilating choose to investigate it, as an explorer. Choose to notice, maybe even write down the sensations. Track them like the expert you are. What does your body do? Continue Reading Hypervigilance and the Present Moment
The Saving Grace of…Religion?!
Why do I believe that religion can be an important vehicle for healing? Because I truly believe it saved my life. It was the 60’s, and hedonism was in, not just for my parents, but for most families in our tony Western Massachusetts cul-de-sac. Supervising the children, what’s that? Building character, so repressive! Consistency, pure… Continue Reading The Saving Grace of…Religion?!
Ruining A Good Thing, Part 2: Can Our Story Be Changed, And Religion Serve Our Spirituality?
Ritual does not equal religion, but it is like the hint of color in the leaf presaging fall. All that is required is the loss of safety, the contraction into fear, and the organization that follows. At some point in my pretty story, the people lost spiritual touch with the land, and ignored the signs… Continue Reading Ruining A Good Thing, Part 2: Can Our Story Be Changed, And Religion Serve Our Spirituality?
Ruining a Good Thing: One Story of How Spirituality Becomes Religion
Ruins. All that remains of a culture that lasted continuously for over 700 years at Mesa Verde. Like a skeleton, its bones and articulations telling a rich story, from a nomadic people tired of wandering, to a frightened and fighting society starved into leaving for kinder territory in Arizona and New Mexico. When I was… Continue Reading Ruining a Good Thing: One Story of How Spirituality Becomes Religion
Are Religion and Spirituality Really at Odds?
Religion. Just the word itself brings a palpable, observable quake to most thinking persons’ systems. Even those who acknowledge the numinous quickly clarify, “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual.” Who can blame them? We live in an extraordinary country, one founded on religious freedom; yet historically, religion in this country has been used to control, to… Continue Reading Are Religion and Spirituality Really at Odds?
Religion and Healing: a True Paradox
Religion. Just the word itself brings a palpable, observable quake to most thinking persons’ systems. Even those who acknowledge the numinous quickly clarify, “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual.” Who can blame them? We live in an extraordinary country, one founded on religious freedom; yet historically, religion in this country has been used to control, to… Continue Reading Religion and Healing: a True Paradox
Can Money Be Addictive, and If So, Is That a Bad Thing?
Can money be addictive, and if so, is that really a bad thing? One might say that, like people who compulsively exercise, addiction to money has significant practical benefits. Keeping one’s focus on the bottom line and delaying gratification in order to create a more secure future is terrific…in balance. But are we always talking… Continue Reading Can Money Be Addictive, and If So, Is That a Bad Thing?
Elliot Rodger: A Cautionary Tale
While everyone is talking about gun control, can we take it to a deeper level? Our boys, and the men they become, are in trouble. While Rodgers, and Holmes etc before him, are extremes, our males are at risk, from puberty on, in continued discouragement around developing more “feminine” qualities that allow for satisfying intimacy, relationally and not merely sexually. And those who do are likely to be the main object of interest for the school bully. Continue Reading Elliot Rodger: A Cautionary Tale
Money Stress: How Growing Up Without Effects Our Relationship With Money Now
That trauma shows up in my office, among those who rationally know they have plenty, but are constantly driven by a sense of never having enough. By those who are miserable in their jobs but terrified at even manageable risk factors in pursuing, instead, work more satisfying to them and more helpful to the world. By those compulsively resist opening their ledgers, looking up their account balance, or in any way checking their goals against the realities of their current finances. When you’re raising a family, or closing in on retirement, that becomes a huge problem. Continue Reading Money Stress: How Growing Up Without Effects Our Relationship With Money Now
There is no Magic in Money (Pt. 2): Using “the Ladder” to Make Money Work for You
What has this to do with you and your bank account? Plenty. Remember that exercise I had you do a couple of blogs ago? The one where you sat with actual currency, and noticed what thoughts and feelings came up. One of those beliefs may have been, if only I had more of this I… Continue Reading There is no Magic in Money (Pt. 2): Using “the Ladder” to Make Money Work for You